Children’s Parents Act Like Children
When the potatoes do not want to exercise their role as parents complicate things in the house and the children come into crisis, as rules and structures that should have are disrupted or lost.
This reality is more common than you think and occurs in families where there is a fear of conflict and great personal insecurity.
“These are parents who fear that the link established with the children is not strong enough and believe, that will not abide by placing limits. They have a deep fear that their children do not want your anger or bring order, “says Sandra Gelb, a psychologist and academic director of the school of psychology at the Universidad de los Andes
In this sense, the psychologist finds that not to take on parenting is a comfortable position as the paternity would postpone their own needs and satisfactions to give priority to the needs of children.
“They are immature parents who did or did not go mourning the loss of his teens, then delegate their responsibilities to older siblings, grandparents, babysitters or anyone who is willing to do,” he adds.
The fact also occurs when there are family issues that affect family life and duties attached to it is inappropriate to smaller displacement causing a severe roles. “The concern is that when that child grows, you may continue with that idea or pattern of rearing and from there you see that parents have a horizontal relationship with the children, there are no boundaries and roles are disrupted,” says psychologist Charles Mateluna Miretti (cmateluna@gmail.com)
The situation is complex and involves immediate consequences. The children or teenagers when they would forget their interests, unfocused.
“They lose part of their development and childhood fun is curtailed by having to meet the needs of others and end up skipping stages of growth,” said Gellb.
So in a minute of his life, they say, want to live what they have not lived, becoming eternal teenager or become old boys or “stupid serious” super sets that do not enjoy anything.
On the other hand, Carlos Mateluna Miretti indicates that if the parents are their children’s children become a kind of relationship will be repeated even can be transferred from generation to generation. “We think it is normal, until you are certain situations that life brings, the person will realize that it has taken over instances that did not correspond.”
Realize time
Usually the parents act this way unconsciously and only acknowledge receipt of your mistakes when children begin to grow and have their first problems when entering the school. It is in this instance when parental performance would be measured.
“These are children who has trouble following rules, adapted or have no clear sense of authority. In adolescence is noticed when trying to educate or prosecute but the kids are reluctant, “says psychologist Sandra Gelb.
To sort the roles, before the chaos becomes routine, therapeutic work should be focused more on parents than the children. “Adults have to show that children can not take care of situations that do not concern them because it disrupts the development of life,” Carlos Mateluna Miretti illustrated.
In that sense, Gelb Sandra complements that children must be friends of his parents, have confidence in them, “but must recognize some authority and some distance from them, otherwise there is much confusion.” Without a doubt, parenting requires effort and perseverance but sometimes set rules and limits are not easy tasks to undertake.
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