Dating after Divorce
To say divorce is a life-changing thing, would be a massive understatement. Nothing is the same ever again after divorce. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. In fact, I would suggest that it’s a good thing. American Comedian Louis CK (A divorcee himself) says, “No good marriage ends in divorce, it’s really that simple”. In his stand-up act Louis actually discusses a lot of life post-divorce including what it’s like being a single father, what it’s like suddenly being single again, and how he deals with dating. I would recommend any divorcee his DVD Hilarious.
What we’re going to discuss in this article though is dating after divorce, going through things you should consider and think about when trying to get “out there”. Here’s a list of places to start.
Go to your Friends
This might seem cliché, but your friends are usually your most reliable source of support. Obviously with a separation involved some friends might not be approachable, such as the friends that both you and your partner shared. That might feel awkward, not only for yourself, but for them also.
Friends that you have had for a long time, ideally before you where married would be ideal. This will also help you return to a sense of normalcy.
Social Groups
If you want to start meeting new people, it won’t happen just sitting at home. You will have to put effort into your new social life, but if you do, you could end up with a much better social life than you had before, and meet many new and interesting people.
One of the best things to do is to join some sort of group. Like an acting class, or a dance class. This will get you mixing with other people, which is the first step to meeting people. Make sure that the group you join is something that you really enjoy, this way you will get more out of it than just meeting people: you’ll be enthusiastic, and you’ll have fun. Those qualities will make people want to socialise with you at these groups.
Don’t treat a social group you join as ‘just a group’. Treat them like they are your friends: ask them if they would like to meet up outside of the group. You already have a love of something in common, so you’re so to get a long outside of the group.
Don’t be Afraid Due to Past Experiences
This is vital to getting back into dating. By past experiences we mean your relationship. For example, if your partner treated you un-well you shouldn’t believe that every relationship will be the same. After your divorce you really need to forget whatever happened and move on. In fact one of the ways to do this is to go on dates to remind you that things can be new and interesting.
Try not to develop trust issues because not everyone is the same, there are good people out there. Most importantly, stay positive.
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